I guess everyone must be worried about improving conversion rates nowadays. I couldn’t stop laughing when I received the following in my inbox [I've removed their url and phone # to protect the guilty]:

I am trying to contact Bryan Eisenberg.

Anyway I specialize in converting traffic into sales
and getting traffic to your site. Since you already
do some type of advertising in Google,
I know I can help you out. I was wondering
if you could get back with me as soon as possible.
I look forward to working with grokdotcom.com.

In today’s Internet Economy everything is about
performance. I know I can help drive traffic to
grokdotcom.com and lots of it.

After the first month, it is only .25 a click
with a $300 min. That’s all there is to it.
I hope that sounds good to you.
I look forward to hearing some kind of response.

They must specialize in creating cow paths. Do you need this kind of help?