The question is . . . who’s surprised by this? Better yet, why is anyone surprised by this?!

I only heard one person say he was amazed at the way a mom picked the game up again, after being away from it for so long—
But he was a GUY!! And guys think one set of skills can’t be used in other ways!

It seems like there’s an assumption that, when you become a SAHM, you’ve dropped out of the “workforce” when, in fact, you’re working harder than ever with your kids!

But the dilemma pops up when you can’t put it on your resume! Wow! What a splash of cold water. No new news here but why haven’t times changed?

This show helped widen the narrow-minded, derogatory attitude that many people have towards moms “re-entering” the workforce.

This show helped change the perception of that old-fashioned, limited point of view which is that women lose their job skills, not if they’ve changed jobs but, only, if they become “stay-at-home” moms.

I loved that the show found such classy, caring, dignified, smart women who clearly were superstars, both pre-baby and post. They showed the best that women can be.

I’m still a SAHM and wasn’t sure anyone sympathized, or understood, or, heck, even cared what it’s like, what happens to you, when one becomes a SAHM.

Missing your old life, something you were good at, had fun with, felt good about, those were memories of long ago.

This show made me feel that someone made an effort to understand what it felt like to be me. I felt I had been given a gift – someone ‘heard’ me, ‘heard’ my story.

There were no misunderstandings— they “got it”. That, at one time, you had Life A and now you have Life B. Good job, Soccer Mom producers!

The darker side of women the show didn’t portray – the one that’s seen behind the scenes on these message boards – is freakin’ me out.

I was looking up Soccer Mom shows cuz I missed the tv producer one and wanted to see it. Next thing I know, I’ve stumbled across some major hostility against the show.

Wha-?

I saw the same thing, on Phil Donahue in the ’80’s. The same level of hostility, between SAHMs and working moms, was brewing in the audience and was the topic of the day.

We’re in 2008 now but you could’ve swapped out that show, aired it, and it would have been current today.

I guess the more things change, the more things stay the same.
Making that choice to be with your kids is a big one.

If you can’t afford it, well, obviously that’s where the hostility’s coming from.

I felt the hostility when I decided to stay home with my kids. All of a sudden, to working women, ones who knew me or didn’t know me, I became a bourgeois, pampered queen. Wow. What a black eye for women.

Even now, when I have only one at home, a teenager, I still get wild card comments from “my friends”. along the lines of ‘if I had all day to ….’, or (to my husband) ‘you spoil her’. This within the last month.

The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom was the show that showed people what I had done, what I did. Some people get paid for it as housekeeper/babysitter but they get something extra – respect

p.s. Just found you over here, Holly. Nice to read you again.

Ah He**!!!

We’re all Individuals. Period.
(I think you hit that nail on the head.)

Different Lives. Different Experiences. Different Ideologies.
We are Women, but we are Ourselves.

What did Blake say: “To generalize is to be an idiot.”

I’ll take four from one and deliver.

All My Best,

Jene’ Michele

P.S. Buying the ebook now!

I think of a simple solution to this debate: for every woman to follow her own path, and let other women follow theirs.

It saddens me when women engage in such negative, destructive, hurtful dialogue, such as the comments about the moms in the soccer mom show. But, there is another side of the picture: there are lots and lots and lots of moms who do support one another. I have awesome friends, some who work, some who don’t, some who work full time, some who work part time, and they’ve always supported each other. I’ve heard from other women who say the same thing. And yet I do have friends who’ve been criticized for their choices: I think of a friend, who, upon going back to work part time from home, with school aged children, was told by one of her children’s teachers: “How sad that you need to do this.”

I want to encourage women to be their best selves. I think women have more untapped potential than any other natural resource in the world. And I think women can unleash their potential…if they stop tearing one another down, or tearing themselves down.

I imagine a world where women love their bodies, love themselves, where they easily ask for help, where they are supported, where they nurture themselves. Imagine, if every woman did this. Why, it could truly change the world.

That’s my save the world manifesto for today…smile.

In sisterhood,
Karly Pitman

So, yes, why don’t we (as noted above) all grow up.
(I’d bet the show does appeal to some women – but they’re not going to come out and say they hate laundry, are going to scream if they hear “Mommy” one more time, etc.)

Betty Friedan is sighing and spinning somewhere…

When a woman becomes a mom, does that mean she has to give up other areas of her life in order to best serve her children? I think in some circles, women answer that question with a resounding yes. That motherhood is about sacrificing: putting your children’s needs above your own.

Things like a career, hobbies, a healthy sex life, and relationships: they all are secondary to motherhood. Implicit in this argument is that you shouldn’t take time away from your children to nurture your marriage, your friendships, or your hobbies: to fulfill the other parts of you that aren’t a mom. It’s as if being a mom should be your only fulfillment.

I don’t buy this argument. I’m a mother of four children, from ages 1 to 11, and I know this much is true: that if I mother my children to the point that I lose myself, that I lose touch with the person underneath the mom, I become resentful, depressed, lonely, and stifled. This doesn’t serve either my children or myself.

I’m a mom, and I take my role seriously: I nurture my children to the best of my ability. But I also find ways to nurture myself. This means working part time, making time for my daily runs, having regular dates with my husband, and going out with my girlfriends.

But I also take my children on dates, and read them bedtime stories, and ride bikes with them, and snuggle with them on the couch.

In other words, I don’t look at motherhood as either-or: either I care for my children or care for myself. I find ways to do both.

This means, on a practical level, that I sometimes say no to my children. This means that I set limits. This means that my children help with the running of the household in regular chores. This means—gasp—that sometimes I choose to do something for myself over something for my children.

But this lesson—that parents can’t do everything; that we don’t always get what we want; that relationships are a give and take process—is something crucial for my children to learn. If they are the center of my universe, if their needs always come first, how does this serve them? It doesn’t.

I write a blog, First Ourselves, where I encourage women to put themselves first, for the highest good of all. When a woman puts herself first, and takes care of herself, everyone benefits: her children, husband, family and community.

I wrote about how being a more selfish mom can benefit your family here:
http://www.firstourselves.com/first_ourselves/2008/03/positive-parent.html

Best,
Karly