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Friday, Apr. 25, 2008 at 11:45 am

Have We Gone 2.0 Far? Facebook Wedding Invites!?

By Robert Gorell
April 25th, 2008

I got an email from Facebook this morning, informing me that I had been invited to the wedding of one of my best friends:

 

facebook wedding invite

I repeat, I got an email from Facebook this morning, informing me that I had been invited to the wedding of one of my best friends.

Apparently, he and his fiancé — also a friend — are worried their close friends, all devout music geeks, might buy tickets to this concert in September (a legitimate fear in my case) and thus have an excuse (albeit a weak one) to miss the wedding (which they would understand because they’d totally be there if they weren’t, um… getting married).

Have we gone too far?

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Comments (28)

  1. Maybe you’ll get an evite too.

    All kidding aside though, I am beginning to enter the socail networking world myself and am finding it a bit easier to reserve time with some of my friends through Facebook rather than play phone tag for two weeks.

    It is also a low-cost alternative to the “Save this Date” type of letters I’ve always gotten and end up losing within the first two days because I don’t like to put things on the refrigerator door. This is definitely a great way to have a reminder since I check my Facebook page all the time.

  2. I agree, it’s so much more convenient to communicate with friends (heck friends you haven’t seen and talked to you for YEARS), however, you do lose that “personal touch” element. This mass form of communication clumps all friends together in one big group. You are probably in touch with more people than ever because of social networking, but you “lose touch” with a lot of close friends because of the limitations in personalized communication 2.0 offers.

  3. So, my friends and family need to have a Facebook account to be invited to my wedding? That’s kind of lame.

  4. David,

    No, it wasn’t exactly like that. They seemed to be using Facebook defensively to make sure that a handful of their friends didn’t make other plans. There were less than 10 people invited to the Facebook group for the wedding, but I believe there are about 150 at the wedding, total — most of whom likely don’t have an account.

    I found it stunning at first, but now it seems to make a bit of sense. A bit ridiculous, but what a sign of the times!

  5. And I wasn’t invited?

  6. Robert,

    I am planning a wedding with the date far out in the future. While I didn’t use Facebook, I did send out a fancy Save the Date ‘bulk’ email to everyone we are inviting . It included our photo and information they will need to make their plans – date, time, place, hotel, airport, driving times, etc.

    I’ve spoken on the phone to most of these people about the upcoming wedding, we just wanted to let them know the date so they could start making plans.

    A sign of the times? Yep, you betcha!

    It has been 28 years since my last wedding. I am a Baby Boomer, not a Gen Whatever! When a Save the Date email was first suggested to me, I was horrified.

    I jokingly talked to a few friends about it, and they were the ones who convinced me it would be a good thing to do. An email allows them to immediately put it into their calendar, on their computer or online, and not have to post it on their fridge and then forget to put it in their calendar.

    So, it is a new world and even this old Baby Boomer can learn new tricks. I’m even building a web site with information and links about the wedding!

    O:-)

  7. I agree with Ayat and Marie. Being recently new to Facebook, I found it very useful that I can keep in touch with current friends and acquaintances as well as on going business events that I otherwise would not be aware of.

    I think that people should use whatever means (so long as its not offensive) to keep in touch with people, even as far as wedding invites or “save the dates”, thru emails or electronic form.

    Being in the wedding business for over 20 years, I’ve have either heard or seen stranger than fiction stories of what people do when they get married, usually one looks back and just chuckles.

    So I have one to share. I recently learned of a extended family member passing through Facebook. So remember that movie Four weddings and a Funeral… Life is funny that way.

  8. hey you’re making doris feel awkward!!

  9. I noticed a friend of mine had added a new photo album to his facebook profile, entitled ‘Ultrasound’…

    and in such fashion the good and joyous news was broken!
    hmmm…

  10. I think this can ruffle a few feathers when friends who didn’t get the invite see stories in their newsfeeds “X of your friends are attenting Jill and Johnny’s Wedding”

    I recently got invited to a retirement party for one of my old gymnastics coaches from high school. The party is in March 2009. Talk about planning into the future. I’m sure there’s a rock concert I’ve already committed too, though. Shoulda told me sooner. Really.

  11. Robert,

    It’s My Bloody Valentine. Who cares about your friends wedding? This is MBV we are talking about!

    Option 1: Watch the people who made Loveless, and may never well tour again
    Option 2: People dancing drunk to a DJ playing Gloria Gaynor at a wedding.

    I think your choice is clear.

  12. Wow.

    2.0 far, indeed. Well, at least now your L.A. friend and his fiancé will know 4.0 sure who their real friends are, and that would be gr-8.0.

  13. I can’t see this taking over from the traditional invites but it’s a sign of the times. Cheaper too!

  14. [...] comes right down to it I am a tiny bit old-fashioned. Sorry, folks, you won’t be getting your invitations via Facebook. But if you think of it as a quick and painless way to add a little interactivity to the mix, [...]

  15. I have got many event invitions on facebook but a wedding invition is really surprising, atleast there should be a personal touch for such a special occasion.

  16. I use eVITE and other digital methods to supplement phone calls and written invitations. Yes playing phone tag is a pain I know, but even a left message listened to much after the call has an emotional connection that an automated email never will. I use the digital methods to provide the address, dress, phone number details for an event AFTER a phone call – never before!
    Dennis

  17. [...] I added the Weddingbook app for Facebook as soon as I found out about it, but I ended up creating a Facebook event for our wedding, too. I love some of Weddingbook’s features, like the countdown widget and the wedding party photo gallery, but all in all Weddingbook just didn’t have the options I wanted. Weddingbook seems geared toward brides and grooms who want to use Facebook to plan their entire wedding; that didn’t appeal to me because there are too many tools out there that can do the job way better. And when it comes right down to it I am a tiny bit old-fashioned. Sorry, folks, you won’t be getting your invitations via Facebook. [...]

  18. I want to know what your mentioned Facebook is! It sounds interesting and convenient. A software or a mail box?

  19. My first thought is that it’s too much, sending out invitations via Facebook. But after thinking about it, I don’t see the major problem with it. Especially if the couple is on a very tight budget.

  20. Having planned my own and other weddings, I know the painful process of getting someone to send back a stamped RSVP…. so if Facebook increases the number of RSVPs and decreases stress on the bride/groom … i’m ok with it!

  21. Being a wedding DJ that uses Facebook, I can tell you that Facebook is becoming a widely-accepted means of invites for ANYTHING. Heck, for my recent birthday outing it was pretty much all I used to invite others. If my friends didn’t have FB, they simply missed out.

  22. I think people using facebook and other sites like that are starting to go way over board with things. Do you really want to see hundreds of photos everyone shot, read about everything they are doing every day and any gived time. All the newer Facebook wordpress blog plugins make it even more easy for people to keep yoi informed with all the things you do not care about.
    I think they should be sending out real wedding invited items in the mail. The way weddings have been for ever.

  23. If it is just to make sure their friends don’t have any other plans. I did something like that before I start any planning, to see how many people would attend my wedding if it was done in my husband’s hometown, in his mom’s backyard. I got many refusals from people who thought it was too far and wouldn’t be able to find transportation. So we changed our plans and had it in the city where we live instead. It doesn’t replace the paper invites.

  24. But after thinking about it, I don’t see the major problem with it. Especially if the couple is on a very tight budget. I think this can ruffle a few feathers when friends who didn’t get the invite see stories in their news feeds. Read about everything they are doing every day and any give time.

  25. Using FB invites for a wedding is one thing, and one thing only: CLASSLESS. And if you don’t understand why that is, then you never had any class to begin with. end of story.

  26. I think people using facebook and other sites like that are starting to go way over board with things. Do you really want to see hundreds of photos everyone shot, read about everything they are doing every day and any gives time.

  27. I can see using facebook for “save the date”, but an official wedding invitation still needs to be sent.

  28. I agree with Ayat and Marie. Being recently new to Facebook, I found it very useful that I can keep in touch with current friends and acquaintances as well as on going business events that I otherwise would not be aware of. Thank you.

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