I have worked with many clients who sell women’s apparel and accessories online.  I’ve helped them improve their online performance by understanding their customers and visitors more effectively, and making changes to speak more effectively to those visitors.

These are some of the many things you should consider improving if you’re selling women’s clothing and/or accessories online:

1)    Design – Women like simple and clean designs.  They push away clutter.  Use softer, more rounded corners and use colors that are warm and more female friendly.  Don’t box things off, use less lines separating elements in your design, and feature plenty of white space.

2)    Images - Women like to be able to visualize themselves in the images they see on your web site, so the images shouldn’t look too posed.  Images that look more real, that feature specific pieces you sell and evoke some emotion, work more effectively.

3)    Copy – Women want to find out quickly what the site offers and what’s in it for them.  Keep it friendly, and offer her some kind of community.

4)    Calls to action and links - Women are looking for straight-forward guidance on how to move forward, whether it be text links or buttons.  Make it easy for her to choose from a few options to move forward in her buying process.

Holly Buchanan, an expert on marketing to women online, reviews various women’s clothing sites in this post, showing us that many of these things apply across the board.

My favorite thing about lululemon’s new site is the imagery and messaging that they convey.  It’s obvious that lululemon clearly understands their customers.  They understand that their apparel is not only being purchased and worn by yoga enthusiasts.  For example, their customers may be doing yoga to help improve their performance in other sports, or they may be using the apparel to workout in the gym and go running, or are simply wearing it as their casual everyday clothing.  Lululemon’s imagery and messaging show us that they understand these women, their lifestyles and their motivations for shopping online.  Are your images simply stock and aren’t speaking to your visitors’ lifestyles and needs?

The active window on this site also features clear-cut (and limited) ways to move forward.  It’s very easy to move forward from the homepage and choose to either shop for women’s or men’s clothing.  There is no confusion about what will be featured when you click. The active window of the homepage also features community aspects such as an image and introduction to their latest blog post and their monthly challenge.  Are you featuring easy ways for your visitors to move forward from your top landing pages? Do you create a relationship with your customer by engaging them with a community?

Lululemon also does a great job of featuring their Unique Value Proposition right in the active window.  The copy, right below the main image effectively explains who they are and what they offer the visitor that will benefit her.  Do you have persuasive copy on your homepage that explains what you offer that is unique and that will benefit the visitor?

There are so many things you can do to improve your performance, but how about starting with some of these basics?

According to a New York Times article, the opposite is happening - gender gaps are widening.

When men and women take personality tests, some of the old Mars-Venus stereotypes keep reappearing. On average, women are more cooperative, nurturing, cautious and emotionally responsive. Men tend to be more competitive, assertive, reckless and emotionally flat. Clear differences appear in early childhood and never disappear.

To test these hypotheses, a series of research teams have repeatedly analyzed personality tests taken by men and women in more than 60 countries around the world. For evolutionary psychologists, the bad news is that the size of the gender gap in personality varies among cultures. For social-role psychologists, the bad news is that the variation is going in the wrong direction. It looks as if personality differences between men and women are smaller in traditional cultures like India’s or Zimbabwe’s than in the Netherlands or the United States.

Wow – what’s going on here?   I would have thought with so many women in more progressive countries breaking out of traditional roles, women would take on more traditionally male traits.    But the report has a different theory:

The biggest changes recorded by the researchers involve the personalities of men, not women. Men in traditional agricultural societies and poorer countries seem more cautious and anxious, less assertive and less competitive than men in the most progressive and rich countries of Europe and North America.

There are lots of other theories floating around, as well as challenges to the results.   But it brings up an important point for marketers.  You’re still going to have to be aware of male vs. female communication styles.   Even if outward appearances might suggest the two genders are coming closer together, the truth may be that they’re actually still far apart.

OK, actually, we share a few things in common.   But one of them is an interest in technology designed specifically for women.   Too often, we see big companies who want to reach out to the women’s market, so they simply take an existing product and make it pink.   We’re both members of the “no pink phones’ movement.  But the difference between Ying and I is, Ying actually took action and did something about it.

Ying Cheng started LA YIN a company devoted to fusing High-Tech with fashion and style.

Amen sister.

I recently bought a way cool red laptop zip cover to protect my MacBook while traveling.   And talk about giving new life to something as dull as a USB drive!   I now have a snazzy new red USB drive with cool swirly things on it.   (Sorry Ying, I know I don’t do justice to your beautiful designs with my bad American slang, but “snazzy” is the highest praise I can give).

I asked Ying what it is that women want from technology products.  Here is her answer:

We want products that make our life (which is not always the same as of our counter gender) easier and we want them to be easy to use, not too intimidating. We also want them to look good, in particular mobile phones, music players and other personal devices – as these are equivalent to personal accessories, they are an extension of our own personal expressions.

I think the key point here is, yes, many women look at technology products as a personal accessory or a personal expression.  I think guys feel that way as well, to some degree.  But a man’s idea of fashion and style may differ from a woman’s.   Which is why I’m so excited to see more women taking matters into their own manicured hands and designing what they want.

LA YIN is starting with a few products, but Ying has plans to expand in the future.  She has a board of over 100 women from around the world guiding and supporting her efforts.

I, for one, love my new LA YIN USB drive and laptop cover and am planning on giving them out as presents and thank you gifts to help spread the word.   Why should I be the only one who looks fabulous with my stylish high tech devices?

While past elections focused on the key voting block of the Soccer Mom, now it appears there may be a new focus.  This year, we have a candidate who is a self-proclaimed “Hockey Mom”.

As a marketing to women enthusiast, and a long-time researcher of Soccer Moms, this is one of those marketing insight opportunities that has me salivating.  How will this “Hockey Mom” thing play out with voters?

One of the main reasons Michele Miller and I wrote The Soccer Mom Myth was to help companies and marketers break through the stereotype of the Soccer Mom to better understand who women really are and why they really buy.

We’ve found that women don’t like the label “Soccer Mom.”

Yes, Soccer Moms are terrific mothers, devoted to their children, driving them to and from sports games. But there is also a negative side to the term. Do you think Soccer Moms are incredibly technologically savvy? Would you seek one out for intellectual conversation at a cocktail party? Would you want one running your company?

Here’s the problem. Sometimes these biases are unconscious. That’s why they are so dangerous.

So do we now have a new stereotype?  I’ve heard of Hockey Moms before, but with Sarah Palin now calling herself a Hockey Mom, the term seems to be everywhere.

It’s always a little tricky to blog about marketing of politics without getting into political battles – so let me be clear I am looking at this strictly from a marketing point of view.

I am curious what the term “Hockey Mom’ brings up in people’s minds. When I went to Wikipedia and typed in Hockey Mom I was redirected to Soccer Mom. Hmmm…that’s interesting. Are they the same thing?

Dan Rodicks from the Baltimore Sun has some interesting insight into Hockey Moms.   He  points out this main difference:

Soccer moms get to attend their children’s games in the great outdoors, often in warm sunshine. Hockey moms rise early, in the dark morning hours of a winter Saturday or Sunday, and drive their hockey-playing children to an ice rink in time for an 8:00 am game, which occurs indoors, under the dim lights of cold hockey rinks.

Here’s my main question – when voters hear the term “Hockey Mom” will they relate to it? Will they have a positive connation? A negative connotation?  And how do they feel about a “Hockey Mom” holding one of the most powerful positions in the country?

I honestly don’t know how using the Hockey Mom label will affect the public’s perception of Sarah Palin.    I do think it’s interesting that so many of the news organizations picked up on that label.  Seriously – Google “hockey mom” and see almost every result is a story about Sarah Palin.

What do you think?  Will identifying herself as a Hockey Mom help or hurt her political image?  No matter what your political affiliation – you have to admit – this has been one of the most interesting campaigns from a marketing standpoint.    Fascinating.   I can’t wait to see how it all turns out.

It’s an important and disturbing question.   There have been several studies done that show the negative effect of all these anorexic models on women’s self-esteem. But do those super skinny models actually sell more clothes?

Heather Strang at RetailDesignDiva.com has a fascinating article on the subject.  Here’s a sample:

Jeremy Kees, a business professor at Villanova had this quote to share: “The really interesting result we’re seeing across multiple studies is that these thin models make women feel bad, but they like it. They have higher evaluation of the brands. With the more regular-size models, they don’t feel bad. Their body image doesn’t change. But in terms of evaluations of the brands, those are actually lower.”

Personally, I don’t think Jeremy knows what he’s talking about, but it’s worth exploring. Why would something that makes us feel bad also motivate us to buy? We may need a panel of psychologists to figure this one out. Ultimately, though it puts retailers in a position where they can’t win.

I’d like to learn more about the study that found women have a “higher evaluation” of brands that use these thin models.    I’m not saying I disagree, but I’d like more details.   Since the top fashion houses are the biggest offenders with these size negative 2 models, perhaps women associate this look with high-end designer clothing.  I don’t know.

What do you think?

But then where does that leave broad-based gender differences and reality-based demographic information?  For instance, women make or influence 85% of all consumer purchasing decisions and control the finances in 53% of US households. Actually, to me, that last statistic seems low. If “controlling the finances” means balancing the checkbook and paying the bills, I’d bet far more than 53% of the household finances are controlled by women, either way, that’s a lot of checking accounts in female hands.

And that brings me to the new Mint.com redesign.  Bryan Eisenberg turned me on to Patrick Sullivan’s analysis of both the old and new Mint.com websites over at his Edit Weapon blog. Great stuff to be sure, and his analysis turned me onto a miniature (and admittedly non-scientific) trend: most guys I talked to didn’t like the new mint redesign as well as the old (beloved) website.  And yet the new site was outperforming the old site by 20% according to some accounts. What gives?

Well to me it seemed reasonable to believe that the new site might be preferred by and outperforming with female visitors rather than the tech-centric guys I was talking to. And in taking a closer look at the design, it seemed as if it lined up with some well-known broad-based gender preferences.

My guess is that guys prefer the old site because of the design cues and because of the buying mode they’re likely to be in when they are not in charge of a family’s finances. The old site:

• seemed dark even when it wasn’t,
• immediately directed your eye to bottom line benefits, and
• made it easy to either “Just Do It” or “Learn More”

All of these things seemed like they would appeal to faster decision makers who had a bit less (emotionally) on the line. The old site promised to “Put your finances on autopilot,” which is definitely a non-budgeted guy thing.

Comparatively, the new site:

• has a decidedly friendlier, lighter, and more open feel to it
• doesn’t harshly direct your eye, but lets you gather the information as you wish
• provides immediate credibility clues through prestigious magazine endorsements underneath the headline.
• explains HOW and WHY mint can accomplish great things for you within the first paragraph – and does so without visually “shouting” at you.
• lets visitors go beyond just “Learn More” to learn about benefits of concern to someone who has to handle a family’s budget or finances: “all your accounts in one place,” “easy budgeting tools,” “Find Instant Savings,” etc. Yes, this requires more brain power or emotional investment to navigate, but it’s clearly more compelling if you’re the one trying to stretch a family budget.
• Replaces “Put your finances on autopilot” with “How mint can help you live a richer life,” which – when you think of richer in it’s more suggestive or emotional connotations – also seems more broadly appealing to females in charge of the family finances.

So my question is, so you guys and gals also find this to be the case? Do your female friends prefer the new mint while your male friends prefer the old? Do you think my analysis is on-target or am I somewhat biased?

Is the strategy that men will want to talk to a pretty girl?  And women may be more comfortable talking to another woman than a man?   I don’t know.   But a recent study might provide some answers.

Robert Dooley at Future Lab has a great post A Pretty Woman Beats a Good Loan Deal.  He looks at a case study by a South African Bank trying to boost their loan business through direct mail pieces.

The experiment featured a rather dramatic range in interest rates – 3.25% to 11.75%. They also incorporated different features in the offer, including different descriptions of the loan, a comparison to competitive products, varied photos of males and females, and subtle suggestions.

There’s a lot of information in that study, but here’s the part that I found to be most startling:

“For the male customers, replacing the photo of a male with a photo of female on the offer letter statistically significantly increases takeup; the effect is about as much as dropping the interest rate 4.5 percentage points… For female customers, we find no statistically significant patterns.

Overall, these results suggest a very powerful effect on male customers of seeing a female photo on the offer letter. Standard errors however do not allow us to isolate one specific mechanism for this effect. The effect on male customers may be due to either the positive impact of a female photo or the negative impact of a male photo.”

Hmmm – interesting.  What’s going on here?   I don’t have any proof, but I’ll throw a hypothesis out there.  Male brains are still hardwired to facilitate their role as the hunter/gatherer.    They’re still programmed to compete to “get the girl.”    I don’t mean this to make men sound like cavemen.  But I suspect the subliminal message these direct mail pieces may be sending is:

“Here’s a way to get more money – and the prize is going to be this attractive woman.”

Or, maybe the photo simply got the men’s attention long enough for them to interact with the direct mail piece.

Another possibility, as the study suggested, was the possible negative impact of a male photo.  Did seeing another guy stir up feelings of competition?   I don’t know.  I hope there’ll be further research done on this topic, since, at least from this study, there could be a big effect on conversion.

So let’s turn our attention to the women.   They supposedly like “lifestyle images” and people’s faces.  Why didn’t the photo have any affect on their response rate?

I suspect it might have something to do with this important point by Roger:

Will slapping a photo of a pretty woman on your direct mail piece boost response rates? If you are marketing to men, maybe. Women seem to be much less affected by irrelevant photos, according to this test. That might be good news – women shouldn’t be negatively affected if a female photo is used in an attempt to boost male response. (Note that this test did NOT evaluate the use of more extreme photos, like the bikini babes I discussed a few weeks ago.)

The emphasis is mine.  Women look at things more holistically.  What is the relationship between the person in the photo and the offer?   If the picture had a loan officer’s name on it, that might be more effective since she would now have context for who the woman is.  If the image featured a woman and another person – a child or aging parent or young person getting ready to go off to college – that might have more of an impact since the image is now relevant to what she might do with the money.

Every business is different, and only testing will prove what does and doesn’t work.   But the importance of images, and how men and women may react differently to them, should be something we’re all looking at.

Give it a listen.

There are some interesting tidbits including why women may be more stressed than men, how Barbie has affected women’s eating disorders, and some cool brain differences.

I wrote about some of these differences in The Soccer Mom Myth.  Differences between men and women DO exist.   It’s ok to say so.   But what’s even more important is to understand how those differences affect our buying decisions and which marketing messages we respond to.

Go take a look and share your thoughts with me.

These are some of the questions I discussed with Gord Hotchkiss, President and CEO of Enquiro Research.

More and more studies are showing there are differences in how men and women use websites.   Is there a difference in how they use search as well?   Let’s find out.

Take a listen.

Click here to listen to Holly’s interview with Gord Hotchkiss

To download Holly’s interview with Gord Hotchkiss the MP3 to listen to on your ipod click here.

About.com and Brandweek are presenting a roundtable and cocktail party Thursday, July 17, starting at 3pm. You can join me as part of the exclusive in-person audience for “Online She Trusts… or Does She? “- an expert roundtable discussing women’s interactions in the virtual world – where they go and what and who they believe, what they respond to, and what they steer clear of.

Featured speakers:

Mary Lou Quinlan – Founder/CEO Just Ask a Woman

Ritu Trivedi – Managing Partner and Media Director, Mindshare Interaction

Grant Schneider – CMO Time, Inc. and author of She Means Business: 7 New Rules for Marketing to Today’s Woman

Danielle Vona – Director of Marketing, Carbonated Soft Drink Flavors, Pepsi-Cola North America

It should be an informative event and it’s free. If you’d like to go, respond in the comments below and I’ll get you the details and registration information. But hurry, space is limited.

“Think of it! Millions and millions of people we can hyper target with relevant messages and offers, contextual targeting, behavioral targeting – THINK OF THE VIRAL OPPORTUNITIES!”

Um, you’ve got a little bit of spittle there at the corner of your mouth…there, yeah, you wiped it off.

Yes, the potential is huge. But some companies have been disappointed with the results in their early efforts. They have some great ideas, but aren’t always sure how to monetize them. (Read this insightful article on the challenges of monetizing Facebook applications.)

I couldn’t agree more – the opportunity is huge. But how can you really make money from social media?

Go Into Relationship Mode

I was fortunate enough to get to spend some time the other day with Joseph Carrabis of NextStage Evolution. (Are you jealous? You should be.)

One of my many questions to him was about social media – it’s all the rage, but can advertisers really tap into that power to sell their products and services? I was particularly interested in advertisers hoping to reach women. Women are huge consumers of social media. A recent rapleaf study found, while both men and women are using social media in increasing numbers, women far out-pace the men.

Joseph pointed out that social media is about building relationships – if advertisers want to reach her in that medium, they have to be in relationship-building mode.

I thought this was interesting. I was at a recent marketing to women conference where two presenters talked about the “mode” women are in on the Internet and how you need to match that mode. Shopping, communicating, and entertainment are just a few modes she might be in.

Which brings up an important point. If she is in relationship mode, respect her space. She may not want to deal with anyone who is too pushy or does not respect her space. For example, look at women on MySpace decorating and customizing their pages. This is their private sanctuary – just like decorating their room in a house. Be aware of that. It’s one thing to barge into a website she is viewing (with your ad). It’s another thing to barge into her “room.”

Another idea we discussed in relation to women and social media and building relationships is the importance of the concept of fair value. As Joseph says, “You have to give as good as you get.” Is there something of value you can give to her? Are you giving more than you are asking for?

And how do you build that relationship? A great way to start is through a conversation. Social Media is often a great way to have a two-way conversation with your customers and potential customers. Just keep in mind, does she actually want to have a conversation with you? And if so, what does she want to talk to you about? A good place to start would be to answer her questions.

Use Persuasion Architecture to Get The Most Out of Social Media

Some of the best advice I’ve heard on the subject came during a recent podcast interview with Forrester’s Josh Bernoff. Josh points out that you can’t start with the technology. You have to start with people and objectives FIRST. What a great point. I can’t tell you how many times someone has come to me and said, “I need to start a blog,” or, “I need to tap into the Internet,” or, “I want to create a discussion forum.” My reply is always, “Who are your customers and what do they want?” THAT’S the first question. What do they care about? How can you make a difference in their lives? What are your objectives? Next, you can come up with which technologies can help you achieve those objectives (i.e., blogs, forums, Facebook, etc.).

It’s a novel idea – start with the consumer and what she wants. (This is the entire basis for Persuasion Architecture.) It’s also about communicating with customers in the manner they want to communicate.

How Do Your Customers Want to Interact With You?

FutureNow recently put up a Facebook page. As our Director of Marketing, Brian Bond said,

“The way I see it, technology evolves to better facilitate the needs of consumers, to have their questions and motivations addressed. The evolution of tools like Facebook is an answer to a need to communicate differently. Just like letter writing was largely replaced by email as a more efficient communication method, I see apps like Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc., all evolving as alternatives to email and other current communication methods. For marketers and businesses, this represents a great opportunity to communicate with their audience with the method their audience chooses. This change is something we have to embrace because it’s how our audience wishes to interact with our brand. Who are we to tell them they are wrong? The beauty of the Persuasion Architecture approach, in my mind, is that is that it applies equally well to all marketing/communication methods. It’s all about communicating with customers the way they want to be communicated with and addressing customers’ motivations. If there are technologies that better support this communication, then we must embrace them to be relevant to the customer.”

How do your customers want to interact with you? How can you provide genuine value to them? Remember, relationships are a two-way street. You can’t always ask ask ask – you have to give in return. Think about what you could give your customers that would be of value to them.

Do Facebook Ads Relate

Here’s a Facebook ad that got my attention:

Now, I deleted the header because it was “(my age) year-old-woman.” That creeped me out. I don’t like someone calling out my specific age. It’s not that I’m that old (I’m barely out of my twenties, really). But screaming my personal information at me like that made me feel a little violated.

Despite the header, the ad got my attention because it was for free samples of products – many of which I recognized in the image. The fact that this company was willing to give me something first appealed to me. It felt like a welcome gift. It felt like the way I’d like to start a relationship. (Rather than flashing the usual banner ad at me, screaming at me, “Buy our stuff! Give us your money!”) Remember, I’m in relationship mode right now, NOT shopping mode. Offering me a gift appealed to me more than offering a percentage off a purchase.

I know some people would joke that women are always in shopping mode. But ads like this one to the left are a big flop; a belly flop. Ads like this make me want to ban all advertising on Facebook.

Want your social media ads to work?

Start with People

By all means, embrace social media. But start with people, in particular, your customers. Who are they? What do they want? Start with their goals first. THEN bring in technology to achieve your goals. And remember, conversations are a two-way street. Don’t just ask…listen. You’ll form stronger relationships. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Since I’ve focused so much on Facebook, I’d love to hear from you – Advertisers – have you had success using Facebook? Tell me about it. Facebook Users – how do you feel about ads and applications on Facebook? Love ‘em? Hate ‘em? Sound off in the comments.

If you are doing social media advertising, would you like to do a research project with FutureNow to see how you can make those efforts more effective?  If you’re interested, let’s have a conversation about it. You can start by leaving a comment below.

Call me mean, but I like that thought.

I’ve long held a theory that women are more sensitive to shipping costs than men. I have no proof of this theory. It’s mostly anecdotal. When I talk to women about shopping online, shipping costs invariably come up as a sore topic, which is why I took notice of this discussion on the High Rankings message board about how women shop online.

Randy Cullom brought up some insight he had about shipping charges, and something he noticed with women in particular:

I’ve had two of these market research session since I first noticed the anomaly, and in each of them 80% or more of the women in the group expressed a strong or very strong dissatisfaction if the shipping and/or handling was out of whack from what they considered to be normal. As an aside, I asked those dissatisfied to write down what S&H they considered reasonable, and in all cases they were pretty much spot on with the real costs, with a little bit extra. Men seemed much more inclined to let “too costly” shipping and handling charges slide right on by. This still too small of a test group (only 60 women total between the two sessions) to be statistically sound, but the reaction has been so strong that I’m inclined to think it’s valid.

Interesting. Still not absolute proof, but it’s enough to make me ask, “How are your shipping costs helping or hurting your conversion, especially when selling to women?”

Consider setting up an exit survey when someone leaves your site to ask if shipping cost was a reason for them leaving without purchasing. If your shipping costs might be considered “high” by female consumers, what can you do about? Why not take a cue from Amazon and see if there’s an easy way for her to increase her purchase to the point that “free shipping” might make sense?

Another option: Create an incentive to purchase more products so that the shipping cost doesn’t feel as high.

For example, if you’re buying one pound of gourmet coffee for, say, $10 and the shipping is $8, there’s a good chance shipping is going to be a deal breaker. What if you tried a promotion where customers who buy 3 pounds get the fourth pound for half off. Encourage her to buy “a month’s worth of coffee.” You’re giving her a reduced price, which she’ll like. Shipping costs may go up a little to cover the extra coffee, but chances are it’s no longer 80% of the purchase price.

Obviously, you have to do what makes good business sense. These are just some suggestions. But if you’re selling to women, take a close look at your shipping charges and see if there are ways to lessen the sting for these shipping-sensitive women.

For more ideas on testing shipping costs, check out “How to Increase Shopping Cart Abandonment.”

Have you ever abandoned an online sale because you perceived the shipping costs to be too high? (I’d love to read comments from the guys as well.)

. .

About the Author: Holly Buchanan is a Persuasion Architect at FutureNow and co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth: Today’s Female Customer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys.

Here’s what Dove has to say:

The “real women” ad referenced in recent media coverage was created and produced entirely by Ogilvy, the Dove brand’s advertising agency, from start to finish and the women’s bodies were not digitally altered.

Pascal Dangin worked with photographer Annie Leibovitz (Ogilvy has never employed Mr. Dangin on the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty), who did the photography for the launch of the Dove ProAge campaign, a new campaign within the Campaign for Real Beauty. There was an understanding between Dove and Ms. Leibovitz that the photos would not be retouched – the only actions taken were the removal of dust from the film and minor color correction.

I actually thought Ad Age’s Jonah Bloom had a better idea for how Dove could respond:

Here was Dove’s statement as I imagined it: “We’re sure our consumers are smart enough to know that photos that are going to be blown up to the size of a billboard may have to be retouched. For the sake of the women themselves, there are certain things — a pimple, a stray hair — that might be airbrushed. The idea here was to use models of various shapes and ages, not to unduly expose them. We think we’ve made a point. But, we’ve also tried to raise women’s awareness of the issue of retouching and ask whether, when taken to extremes, it can create an unrealistic notion of beauty. If this New Yorker piece reopens the debate, that’s a happy coincidence for us, and something we definitely want to hear consumers’ views on it.”

However you feel about Dove or the Campaign for Real Beauty — it has sparked a conversation — a very real, very passionate conversation. And Dove continues to back it up with efforts outside of advertising, like the recent opening of a play in Canada “Body and Soul,” featuring real women talking about their feelings about aging.

But here’s the thing…

I know I’m going out on a limb here (move over, squirrel), but I don’t think Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty has anything to do with beauty. I don’t think women suddenly feel beautiful because of these ads. I think this goes to something deeper. I think this campaign has generated so much interest and success because it touches on a universal need for almost all women: approval.

Are women saying, “Oh, Dove thinks I’m beautiful”? Could be. But I think it’s a lot closer to “Dove thinks I’m OK the way I am. They approve of me. ” In today’s world, that approval is a lifeline.

Why? Because…

Women today are SO judged.

Stay at home with your kids and you are judged because you’re not working.

Go to work and you’re judged for not staying at home with your kids.

Whether it’s an advertising industry that surrounds women with images that tell her she’s not good enough (check out this video by Dove appropriately named “Onslaught“), or a corporate workplace where you lose points if you behave too much like a man or you loose points if you behave too much like a woman.

Women get it from all sides; they’re judged by men and they’re REALLY judged by other women. (I am appalled at the way some women treat each other.)

So when a brand comes along and does NOT judge. When a brand says, “We don’t care what other people say, we think you’re beautiful. We’re going to celebrate you for being you.” Do you know how powerful that is?

Does your brand want to connect with women?

Then stand up for her. Approve of her. Lock arms with her and walk a few miles in her shoes.

You can go the aspirational route; “Buy our product, THEN you will be approved and worthy.” Lots of products have had success with that formula.

But if you want to stand out from the crowd, if you want to create fanatical loyalty, try the Dove route. Try approval. There is SUCH A THIRST for it right now.

If you have a few minutes to spare, check out “A Girl Like Me.”

. .

About the Author: Holly Buchanan is co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth: Today’s Female Consumer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys. If you’d like to meet Holly and judge her in person, join her on June 2nd for FutureNow’s Persuasive Online Copywriting seminar in Manhattan. Not only will you learn techniques for attracting customers online, you’ll get a chance to schmooze over hors d’oeurves and cocktails at our “Happy Hour with the Experts” reception.

Dropping the can at the curb, I turn and notice that the landscaper forgot to turn on the drip irrigation system, so I trot over and flip the switch. I walk back into the house and realize that I forgot to put the cold bottle of water back into the fridge. I open the door and find my hammer, sitting on the top shelf, chilling next to a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

I’m glad I found the hammer. The only question is, “What did I need it for in the first place?”

Welcome to my world. Now in my late forties, I find myself staring down the barrel of menopause and I’m not thrilled about it. It’s not the age that bothers me (it’s only a number) but the havoc it wreaks on my thought process. With four times as many connections between the two sides of the brain, women already have a difficult time concentrating on one thing at a time. Throw in raging hormones and it’s virtually impossible to stay focused. Distraction rules the day.

All to say this: When shopping online, nothing drives a woman battier than putting items into a shopping cart and pushing the “continue shopping” button, only to be sent back to the homepage or a section she’s never visited. What if she wanted to buy the same item in another color? What if the original item page had listed complementary pieces that would go with the one she just ordered?

Imagine shopping in a home supply store. You pick up a light bulb, put it in your basket, and POOF! You suddenly find yourself back at the front entrance with the lighting department positioned all the way at the rear of the store. Do you feel like walking all the way back there just for your next item? Nah, I wouldn’t either. In fact, I can’t seem to remember why we came here in the first place, do you?

If you really want your customer to “continue shopping” on your site, make sure you guide her back to where she really wants to be. Otherwise, she might just might forget what she needed you for and abandon you altogether.

. .

About the author: Michele Miller is co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth — Today’s Female Consumer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys.

[Editor's Note: The image is of Saturday Night Live's Tina Fey, wielding a pink axe in a fake commercial for a fake drug called "Annuale". Pharmaceutical marketers, and anyone with a sense of humor, should watch it.]

Why aren’t product descriptions more helpful?

Here’s one thought: Men and women may care about different things. Product descriptions may not be speaking to both genders’ needs. In product reviews, men talk about what they care about, and women talk about what they care about. This may be one reason why reviews help increase conversion.

Here’s a real life example. I searched for reviews for gas grills. Although the reviewer’s gender isn’t always obvious, I picked two that had a good chance of being either male or female.

First, an excerpt from a gas grill review by “dickiedo” — I’m guessing that’s a man:

Pros: It is sturdy, attractive and cooks good.
Cons: I wish the control knobs were on the front of the grill.

I bought this grill at Home Depot in the morning and that afternoon I grilled the best steaks I have ever cooked using the cooking instructions provided by Weber. The next day I grilled some great tasting hamburgers. Before cooking the burgers I heated the grill and easily brushed off the residue from the steaks leaving the cooking surface clean. I really liked cooking on my Weber charcoal grills, but I am now a firm Weber gas grill fan.

Now, an excerpt from a gas grill review by “juliet166″ — I’m guessing that’s a woman:

Pros: weber quality, even cooking, portability, easy cleanup
Cons: 14oz. propane canisters, lack of warming tray, no side trays

I became a weber convert several years ago after purchasing a genesis silver c, and experiencing the exceptional cooking found in weber grills. Due to a divorce and move to a small apt without a deck, I was desperate for a grill that I could easily transport outdoors to use, but would not take up a lot of space inside my apt. Because of the dome shaped lid, it easily fits a small roast, or vertical rib stand. Clean up is easy just by letting the grill run a few minutes and then brushing with a wire brush.

I have not had any issues with the automatic ignition. I have been using my grill for 3 months now, and it always starts on the first or second push.

Here’s what’s interesting about these two reviews: They’re an example of the gender preferences Joseph Carrabis of NextStage Evolution talks about on the iMedia Connection blog, where he insists that women purchase strategically while men purchase immediately:

Men make purchasing decisions based strongly on immediate or present needs.

Women want to know that today’s purchase will meet their immediate needs, mid-term and even their needs long-term needs. Long-term and far-term usability can even be a stronger consideration for the female purchasing persona than immediate need

Notice that in Dickiedo’s testimonial, he’s talking about purchasing the grill that morning and grilling that afternoon — great job of speaking to a guy’s immediate and present need.

In Juliet’s review, she’s commenting that even after 3 months, the grill still starts on the first or second push, meeting a longer-term durability need.

Carrabis discusses another gender difference:

Men are willing to make a purchase once it has been demonstrated that someone else was successful with the same purchase; kind of a, “that worked for Joe, so it’ll probably work for me” mentality.

Women posit things differently. It’s good to know if something worked for Sally; it’s better to know what Sally’s motivations were for her purchase. Success in itself isn’t meaningful unless the conditions leading to success are the same. (So much for women not being cut out for the sciences!) This can be thought of as, “it may have worked for Sally, but Sally bought it for reason A and I’m interested in reason B, so the same purchase might not work for me.”

Juliet shares her background motivation for purchasing the grill. She’s recently divorced and moved to a small apartment without a deck. She wanted something she could transport outdoors but wouldn’t take up a lot of room. Now a woman can compare her motivation to Juliet’s to see if it’s a good match for her situation, for her motivation.

How can manufacturers and e-commerce sites use this information to create better product descriptions that sell more products?

1. Talk about both immediate and long-term value. “Take it home this afternoon, grill steaks tonight”; “Our grills start at just the touch of a button now, and for months/years to come.”
2. Talk about different motivations for buying the product and successful uses of it. “With our even heating system, grillers of all skills can cook the perfect steak every time”; “If you live in an apartment but still want the that backyard grill experience, this is the grill for you. It’s small and portable, but with a domed lid, so it’s big enough to cook family meals like a small roast or vertical rib stand.”

One more hint. While both Dickiedo and Juliet mentioned “easy cleaning”, Juliet got very specific with what that means (”Let the grill run for a few minutes and brush with a wire brush”). This may also tie-in with women’s need for longer-term value. I know a woman who’s sworn off a famous cookware brand because their products are very sensitive and hard to clean. Remember, she’s not just thinking about cooking dinner tonight, she’s picturing how she’ll use the product for months, even years to come. Make sure you’re talking about what it’s like to use and maintain the product in the future as well as the present.

By using keywords that address the underlying motivations of both men and women, your product descriptions are sure to pick them up before the competition.

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About the Author: Holly Buchanan is co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth — Today’s Female Consumer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys. If you’d like to become a customer pickup artist like Holly, join her on June 2nd for FutureNow’s Persuasive Online Copywriting seminar in Manhattan.

I visit a lot of the “women’s sites” on the Web, and I almost always feel out of place. The subject matter doesn’t excite me. The headlines don’t speak to me. It all feels the same…

• Celebrity gossip
• Diets and recipes
• Love/romance tips
• Fashion news/shopping tips
• Wellness/health issues

Sorry, but none of those are particularly high on my radar. I guess I just don’t have the same interests as other women. But since marketing to women online is my area, I headed over to Yahoo to check out their new women’s site, Shine.

At first glance, that refrain echoed in my head (”I Don’t Feel Like a Woman”). I just don’t get it. Do women really like this stuff? And hasn’t it all been done before? Dozens of times?

But I turned off the tune in my head and investigated further. I went to the About Us page and actually found some of the site’s best content is in the author bios. These sound like interesting, articulate, funny women!

So I kept going, and found the “Work & Money” section. There was some really great content there. And I really like the blog style format.

I started to read the comments to see what other women had to say about Yahoo’s new venture. The reviews are mixed. Some women seemed to like the content, but other women had similar reactions to mine:

For those of you complaining that this site is too “glamorous” and not in touch with real women – please note that you’re on the “Entertainment” section of the site. I read a few articles in the “Work+Money” section that I felt were totally relevant to the issues I’m currently dealing in my life. So far, I’m impressed with the content.

Would like to see more on PEOPLE in general. There is way too much of the glitz an glamour stuff (Imatation Life) on every pc site and tv channel…would also like to see more relating to older women: health, fashion, etc.

This is about what I expected for Shine…it’s not a real ‘woman’s website, but still caters to the younger, interested in glamour, fashion and celeb gossip types. Like a few of the others, I won’t return…it’s just not informative enough for those of us over 50.

Only time will tell whether Shine will be successful. Yahoo has the advantage of being able to tap into other verticals, like their Green section and their Finance section (two subjects in which I actually am interested). I think the “Work & Money” section is actually content that hasn’t been done to death. From the comments on that section, it seems women are really responding to it.

If I could ask Shine to add one thing, it would be a humor section. I do so enjoy a funny female writer. Have you talked with Lenore Skenazy? She routinely makes me snort chardonnay through my nose. Love her.

So, what do you think? What’s your feeling about Shine? Thumbs up? Thumbs down? What would you like to see covered?

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About the Author: Holly Buchanan is a Persuasion Architect at FutureNow and co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth — Today’s Female Consumer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys.

Sounds like something almost every mom would love, right? Apparently not.

Newsweek reported on the ugly response from miffed moms:

If the initial reaction to the “Secret Life of a Soccer Mom,” (Mondays at 10 p.m. ET) is any indication, TLC has struck one of the rawest nerves of parenting.

TLC’s online message boards were jammed with comments from women outraged that Adrian (one of the featured Soccer Moms) would choose a career over being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM in parent lingo). The posts said the premise of the show is “sick” and Adrian is “selfish.” One mom wrote, “Let’s show the other side of the story … how the kids’ world is going to be turned upside down by having to go to day care.” Another woman goes even further: “Unless you’re about to starve there is no reason for you to be at work. If you didn’t want to raise your children, you should not have had them. It’s child abandonment.”

Hmm… How do you really feel?

Women have been in the workforce for decades now, but the tension between moms who stay at home and those who, by choice, have jobs outside the home continues to brew. When in mixed company, mothers on both sides of the fence tend to tiptoe around the subject. Totally unvarnished confessions of either boredom or guilt are usually left to gatherings of moms of one’s own kind.

This is one of the many reasons why marketing to “Soccer Moms” is tricky. These women have so many conflicting views, habits, motivations, and needs. Promote a successful woman who has it all in her career and you risk alienating the stay-at-home moms. Focus only on a mother’s life at home with her kids and you risk alienating moms who don’t want that to define who they are.

These are some dangerous waters. Here are some comments from the show’s message board:

• “Horrible show. Don’t have children if you are not prepared to raise them, plain and simple. Someone mentioned how many school shooting were there is the 1950’s? Go ask your grandmothers how much crime was around when she was a young women, how many children walked around with anger and “issues.” Nothing like today because of the feminist movement, women began working and thinking they could have it all, but when you work and have children, you are sacrificing them for your work.”

• “I cannot believe this debate is still such an issue. Everyone needs to grow up and get over it! Some moms work, some moms don’t, other choose to, others have to. I commend the show for bringing this to light, not all moms want to be at home 24/7. We do not assume a dad should stay home? I am working mom, my kids are well mannered, happy, content, intelligent kids who love life and love their parents. I know a lot of great working moms, teachers, lawyers, doctors, nurses, laborers, and more, without them our work force would be male dominated, should they stop having kids because of this?”

• “I have read most of these post on here, the good, the bad, and the ugly. While I will agree with you that most of them on here are full of whining women, trying to put themselves on pedestals, that’s the only point I can agree with you on. I am a stay at home mother of three great kids, but I by no means think that I am any more important or any higher caliber of a mother any of my friends who have kids and work out of the home.”

And those were some of the nicer posts! The point is, these women have hugely differing opinions, motivations, needs, self images, and positions on motherhood. It’s why I just have to laugh when marketers target “Soccer Moms” and think they can speak to them all the same way.

One final point. The very wording use to describe the premise of the show is offending these women:

I just had to share this. I was looking around TLC’s website and found this on the page where you can apply to be on one of their shows. According to them this show is celebrating stay-at-home moms. Celebrating? Yeah, right. Read below.quote:

Celebrating Stay-at-Home Moms!
Are you or is someone you know a stay-at-home mom? Is your life filled with driving the kids from soccer practice, piano lessons, dance classes and back home with barely enough time to get food on the table? Do you feel like everyday is for someone else with no time left for you? If your answer is yes, TLC is looking for you to be a part of a wonderful new show celebrating “soccer moms”.If you’ve put your needs on the backburner to run a world of diapers, dishes and laundry, we want you! E-mail us your information at: soccermomcasting9@gmail.com

Welcome to how the world views “Soccer Moms”.

Is this how you view a Soccer Mom? If it is, you may be hurting your efforts to market to this widely diverse group. If you want to market to these moms, you’ll have to do your homework. You’ll have to dig deep to see what’s going on in their minds and in their hearts.

If she’s feeling resentful of having to always stay home and take care of the kids, is she really going to share that openly?

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[Editor's Note: Holly Buchanan is co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth — Today's Female Consumer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys, and co-instructor of our Persuasive Online Copywriting seminar on March 28th in San Francisco.]

He showed the “Bra Scientist” video clip by Zafu that I blogged about last year.

As the audience was watching the clip, I noticed something interesting: There were certain points when the men were laughing and the women weren’t. And there were other points when the women were guffawing but the men weren’t even smiling.

The guys laughed when the scientist asked the woman in the parking lot if she would talk about her “um, well… you know, uh… breasts.” It’s a funny line, well delivered. (The guys found it funny, anyway.) She responds “Sure” and the scientist is quite pleased the interview can continue. But then she kicks his head off. Literally.

Some of the women looked a little shocked, but for other women, it garnered full-on belly laughs.

Why is this important? Because humor is one of the most pervasive devices advertisers use to try to sell products. Is that humor hitting the mark with target audiences? A recent Advertising Age article claims that “Snide Advertising is Bad for Business and Society” (subscription required but it’s available here).

In the article, Richard Rapaport discusses “the nasty tone that seems to dominate advertising” and “commercials built on sadism, on derision, on one-upsmanship — in a word, ’snide.’” He gives this example:

Another building block of snide advertising is physical aggression. Consider the quite literally shocking ad for Priceline.com in which William Shatner enters the house of a frustrated online vacation shopper and stuns him with a Taser before sitting down at the man’s computer. “Did I zap your daddy?” Shatner coos at the man’s disquieted child. “Yes, I did,” he admits, “but I saved him lots of money.”

I’m not sure what percentage of Priceline’s audience is women, but women book more online travel than men do. I wonder how they feel about that ad.

While I do believe some humor is universal, I think there are certain types of jokes and subject matter that men find funny that women don’t, and vice-versa. Part of what makes something funny is that it rings true to you (”Oh my God, I’ve so been there!”). Different content may speak more to one gender than the other.

Eric Berger at the Sci Guy blog asked if women have a better sense of humor. One comment grabbed my attention. A reader named Scott has this to say:

The women in my office say that the reason they have less expectation of a reward is that most guys tell such bad jokes, and repeat them over and over. Women don’t tend to be entertained by jokes about bodily functions, sexual performance, or many of the other common topics of guy jokes. I’ve never heard a woman tell a Christa Macaullife/Space Shuttle Challenger joke, yet there are guys who still crack up over them. So perhaps women have a more “refined” sense of humor, not necessarily a “better” sense of humor.

Interesting. There’s a fascinating study done by Professor Hugo Carretero Dios at the University of Granada that finds that humor depends on the person. Or, as the press release claims, “Scientific research on sense of humor sheds light on psychological profiles.”

Carretero Dios observed a generational change in the women’s preferences to the different types of humour. “There has been change in women’s values and roles in our society,” says Carretero Dios. “In people over 45-50, we observed that both men and women laughed more at jokes degrading to women than those degrading to men”. At the same time, both men and women showed more rejection to jokes degrading to men.

However, among the participants between 18-25 years old, the trend was different and men and women had different reactions. Men laugh more at jokes degrading to women and reject those degrading to men. By contrast, women laugh more at jokes degrading to men and reject those degrading to women. Indeed, this trend is more pronounced in women.

“Could these findings show a change in educational values or even a new pattern in the roles played by women”

I think the whole subject deserves more analysis, but it underscores the importance of understanding who your audience is and how gender could affect whether that audience thinks your ads are funny.

What ads have you seen recently that you found funny — or unfunny — and why?

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About the Author: Holly Buchanan is a Persuasion Architect at FutureNow and co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth — Today’s Female Consumer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys.

• Women-owned firms employ nearly 13 million people and generate $1.9 trillion in sales.

• Between 1997 and 2006, majority women-owned firms (51 percent or more women-owned) grew at twice the rate of all firms (42 percent vs. 24 percent).

Want some insight into who these business owners are and what they want? Check out Real You Incorporated: 8 Essentials for Women Entrepreneurs by Kaira Sturdivant Rouda. It’s a great read, whether you’re targeting female business owners or are one.

I knew I liked Kaira as soon as I read this:

“As a kid watching Bewitched, I was entranced by Samantha and her creative power, and I wanted Darrin’s job.”

In Real You Incorporated, Kaira hits on one of my favorite topics: Not all women think alike.

The book features real life stories from women entrepreneurs. It was interesting to see how different women approach their businesses. One business owner named the company after herself. It made perfect sense. Another wouldn’t dream of naming the company after herself. Again, not all women business owners think alike.

But many female business owners share similar problems. There’s a whole section on “Snarks,” folks masquerading as friends and confidantes who don’t have your best interest at heart. You’ll learn how to spot these people and avoid the problems they create. This section alone is worth the price of the book.

If you’re a women business owner (or any business owner targeting women), be sure to check out Kaira’s website. There are lots of interactive elements. You’ll find an “Ask Kaira” section where women entrepreneurs can write in with common questions. She has a downloadable chart where you can fill in your own “Real You” information. She has a featured entrepreneur section where you can be inspired and learn from different women business owners . There’s even a section where you can share your heroes.

I really like the interactive nature of the site. If you’re marketing to women, you want that interactivity. It’s a great way to build a relationship with your readers or customers.

If you’re marketing to women, business owners, or both, add Real You Incorporated to your list.

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[Editor's Note: Holly Buchanan is co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth — Today's Female Consumer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys, and co-instructor of our Persuasive Online Copywriting seminar on March 28th in San Francisco.]

The book addresses the most common mistakes in marketing to women, both online and offline, and shows us how to really understand who our female customers are. The authors then pull back the curtains for a realistic look at what women really want. Or, as they warn on The Soccer Mom Myth website, “This is not your typical dry business book. It includes politically incorrect views, some unladylike language, and tequila stories.”

The early reviews have been fantastic, and we’re looking forward to hearing what the rest of you think.

You can read sample chapters at TheSoccerMomMyth.com or order your copy today from Amazon.

Congratulations, Holly & Michele!

Victoria’s Secret used to be “my” store — a place that catered to sophisticated women. Now it feels like a store catering to teenage girls and creepy guys. Why, I wondered, doesn’t Victoria’s Secret want me as a customer anymore? Could it be because I’m not 25? But isn’t that a good thing? I’m older and I have more money.

Barbara La Placa is the associate publisher of marketing for MORE Magazine, a monthly magazine aimed at women over 40. In this OMMA article, she talks about women over 40 and their buying habits:

La Placa uses the example of lipstick to compare older women with younger consumers. “Open up my medicine cabinet and I’ve got 700 lipsticks. You don’t see that with young girls who get one brand everyone else has. Me, I’m 49, and I’m always looking for the right shade. And I have the money to buy the darn things,” La Placa adds.

Touche. Wake up and meet the boomer market. There are more women over 40 than ever before. They have money and they’re spending it.

According to The Wall Street Journal, even Victoria’s Secret is acknowledging that efforts to target younger customers may have disenfranchised their core market.

In the 1990s, professional women shopped the pastel-painted stores for colorful, European-inspired lingerie, supplementing underwear wardrobes previously filled with black, white and beige styles. Soft music played in the background while saleswomen discreetly offered help.

But over time, Victoria’s Secret adapted to a changing culture. One reason Victoria’s Secret got off track, Ms. Turney said, was the success of its Pink brand, which launched in 2002 and aimed to introduce college students to Victoria’s Secret stores. Pink has grown tremendously; in October, an executive said it would probably reach $900 million in sales for 2007.

But as teens and 20-somethings snapped up Pink underwear and pajamas, too many other product lines at Victoria’s Secret shifted to target that same customer, Ms. Turney said.

It was great that Victoria’s Secret brought in the younger audience, but they forgot about the rest of their customers (like me). I’m sorry, but a pink stuffed dog isn’t going to get me to buy more bras. (Though it might make a nice “friend” for my Boston Terrier with a humping problem.)

Victoria’s Secret is working on changing its image, toning down the “super sexy” hype and going back to its “ultra-feminine” roots. Can they win back customers?

Changing customer views will be a huge challenge. Sheri Coulter, a 42-year-old secretary in Flower Mound, Texas, worked at a Victoria’s Secret store three years ago. “It was like pulling teeth to get the women our age to come in there,” she says. “In our 40s and up, we are sexy — just not the same sexy a college gal is.”

For a time, she says, the store where she worked stopped carrying sizes 38 or larger, embarrassing some older customers who were turned away.

If they want me back, that’s great. But if they are re-re-branding, Victoria’s Secret should take some redesign cues from its own website (which does a much better job than the store, in my opinion).

Here’s what VictoriasSecret.com does well:

• The homepage shows a woman with an actual figure who looks sexy without being trashy.
• Great categorization. I can shop by collection, style of bra, see specials, or get tips on fitting.
• Product pages detail why each garment is or is not right for my body.
• I can increase the text size so I can actually read the product descriptions. (Thank you!)

For now, I’d much rather shop at the online store than the retail store. That’s a problem. If Victoria’s Secret wants me back as a customer, they’ll need to match the experience they’re presenting online with the experience they present in their stores.

[Editor's Note: Holly Buchanan is co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth — Today's Female Consumer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys, and co-instructor of our Persuasive Online Copywriting seminar on March 28th in San Francisco.]

Occasionally — perhaps more often than we’d like to admit — there’s at least some grain of truth in stereotypes. There are a few attributes that may be accurate about each of the groups others lump us in. So why are they so harmful?

In an article for MSNBC (”Science Gets the Last Laugh on Ethnic Jokes”), Kathleen Wren discusses a recent study showing that real personalities don’t match stereotypes. It seems there’s further proof our prejudices may be misleading…

A possibility is that some very specific components of a stereotype may be accurate — for example, Italians may gesture with their hands a lot — but that they don’t necessarily tell us anything more generally about personality.

Stereotypes keep us from digging deep enough to truly understand people (e.g., your customers). We see one or two traits and assume several others must also be true. Very dangerous.

But here’s the really scary part:

We may be “hard-wired,” to some extent, to maintain inaccurate stereotypes, since we are less likely to notice and remember information that violates our stereotypes.

When analyzing data, surveys, focus groups, and other information we gather about customers, we may be more likely to focus on information that reinforces our stereotypes since, well, it just “feels right.”

Think this can’t happen to you? Think again.

When I create male personas, I check in with the men on our team to make sure they’re accurate. (I’m not trying to brag here, but… ) I’ve been helping clients create customer personas for a long time, and my results confirm that I know what I’m doing. Still, there have been several times where the research information I was getting just sounded dead wrong. I simply could not believe it. But after extensive checking, it appeared it was indeed true.

I’ve done enough research on the difference between men’s buying processes and the ways women buy to know there are indeed some BIG differences. So when I see something that goes against my gut, I don’t just write it off. I investigate and try to keep an open mind. But this is why it’s so dangerous when marketers (even yours truly) claim to know something’s true in their so-called “gut”:

Generally, according to Robins, when we encounter people who contradict prevailing generalizations, we perceive them as unique individuals rather than representatives of their national or cultural groups.

How true. But stereotyping doesn’t end there. When ethnic stereotypes don’t fit, it’s gender stereotypes to the rescue!

I see this all too often: “Oh, the research says this woman is happy with her weight. She even thinks she looks good, even though she’s obviously overweight. That can’t possibly be true. All women want to be skinny.”

Guess what. There are many women whom the beauty industry would consider overweight who are perfectly happy with their bodies and do think they look good. (Look at the success of the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, or Jenny Craig “plus size” spokeswomen Kirstie Alley, Valerie Bertinelli, and Queen Latifah.)

How can you break through stereotypes and really understand your customers? First, consider that stereotypes are the single biggest reason why so many marketing-to-women efforts fail, then read my post on Copyblogger (”Surprise! Not All Women Think Alike”).

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Shameless Plug: Holly is co-instructor of our Persuasive Online Copywriting seminar on June 2nd in New York City, and co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth — Today’s Female Consumer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys.

From now on, you can now read about all things marketing-to-women-online at GrokDotCom.com/women.

And now for the really exciting news…

Michele Miller and I have a new book coming out March 10th: The Soccer Mom Myth — Today’s Female Consumer: Who She Really Is, Why She Really Buys.

To find out more about the book (and laugh at our bad dance moves), visit us at TheSoccerMomMyth.com.

As a thank you to the frequent commenters on my posts (you know who you are), we’re giving away 10 free copies. Just reintroduce yourself in the comment field and tell the world to “Stop stereotyping your customers!” and I’ll email you to get your address so we can send you a copy.

If you’re lucky, I may even autograph it for you.

Oh, and if you end up being commenter #11, no worries. You can always order the book from Amazon.

UPDATE 3/10: The winners have been notified. If we’ve been in touch, your copy of The Soccer Mom Myth is on its way. If you missed out on the contest, no worries, the book has officially been released today. Get yours today at Amazon.

That’s how I felt after reading Dr. Susan L. Reid’s Discovering Your Inner Samurai: The Entrepreneurial Woman’s Journey to Business Success. I felt like we’d been having this great conversation, and I didn’t want it to be over.

So I picked up the phone and called Susan. I felt comfortable using her first name because I felt like I knew her after reading the book — and more importantly, I felt like she knew me.

How cool is that?

Not just another new-age analogy…

Discovering Your Inner Samurai is for women entrepreneurs, but it’s also for anyone who wants to understand — or market to — female entrepreneurs (which is why I read it). The book will also give you deep insights into who they are and why they start businesses, while uncovering their deepest fears, challenges, passions and joys.

Think that might be helpful if you want to market to this group?

If you’re a woman entrepreneur, Susan will help you with the five biggest questions you’re likely asking:

1. Is my idea good enough?
2. How to I obtain the money to start up?
3. Can I run a successful business and still have a life?
4. Do I have the necessary education and experience to do this?
5. What if I fail?

Respecting Your Inner Samurai

“How many times have you known what was right for you yet made another choice – one that was wrong for you? How many times have you gone against your inner knowing? How many times have you heard yourself say, ‘I knew I should have gone that way, done that thing, or spoken my truth?’ It happens to all of us – women more than men. Why? Because women generally worry more about the opinions of others.”

Sound familiar? That’s why getting in touch with and trusting your Inner Samurai is so important.

“Our Inner Samurais are the repository of all our life experiences, alchemized from lead into pure gold. A woman’s Inner Samurai is her place of absolute knowing and personal power. It is the seat of her inner wisdom and strength. It is also the place of her extraordinary uniqueness. The journey to discovering your Inner Samurai is the connective thread that unites us all.”

Insight About Women In General

Women are looking for a way to better integrate all aspects of their lives into one whole being that reflect who they really are. Dr. Reid calls this a “whole-istic” tendency.

“Women are polymathic by nature. They view their lives form a whole-istic viewpoint. They don’t break their lives down into separate pieces. Women create lives, not life parts. Our ability to unite seemingly contrasting parts into a whole is one of our greatest strengths.”

Women have a harder time with resistance when building their business. When things aren’t working out as they hoped, they have a different response than men.

“The man most likely would try to figure out what was going on by taking a hard look at his business. The woman would turn inward and look at herself. The man would look at his business with a critical eye toward what is going wrong. The women would turn a critical eye towards herself.”

Women have different priorities in their buying process.

“Women like to buy-in before they buy. Men do, too. Men, however, will more likely buy into value of the product before they buy. Women are more likely to buy into the seller. This is a key difference between marketing to men and marketing to women.”

Advice for the Would-be Samurai

• Create only two priorities per month. What are the two things you are most passionate about doing? This will help you prioritize and focus by aligning you with your “Inner Samurai Priority System.”

• Check in with yourself often. If you hear a lot of chatter, explanation and justifications, that’s the voice of doubt inside your head. Learn to recognize and ignore it. If you check in and feel a one-word pulse, pay attention! That’s your Inner Samurai.

• Three vital qualities that have contributed to the success of Susan’s clients:

1. They have the courage to take the Start-up journey
2. They have a vision
3. They are guided by an inner-knowing (Inner Samurai) that what they have to offer to the world matters

Susan ends with three qualities that will always lead you down the right path:

1. The importance of knowing who you are
2. The value of accepting yourself as you are
3. The significance of daring to be who you are

Inner Samurai is full of real life examples and practical advice, inspiration, and support. If you’re a woman entrepreneur or want to market to them, you must understand the fear of start-up seppuku in order to transcend it — and that’s why you should buy the book today.