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When
last we left Ebenezer Marketer, he was standing in the
middle of his bedroom after a three-Advil™ night of
being escorted through the Ages of e-Business Past and
Present by a parade of exceptionally brilliant Green
Spirits, each of which bore a striking resemblance to
yours truly. (If you missed that part, you really
shouldn't: click
here.)
Wanna
know what happens next? As if you couldn't guess!
E.
Marketer gave himself a pinch and winced at the result,
then raced to his mirror. Looking in and finding his own
reflection, he took to laughing a little insanely,
"I'm here. This is really me! And I'm not standing on
the precipice of my office building.” He raced to his
window and threw open the sash, craning his head far into
the crisp morning air. Everything looked comfortingly
normal.
His
first act was to buy a turkey, which he delivered in
person, for Tiny Tom's Christmas dinner. The missus
invited him to dine, and he obliged, spending his day and
evening picking more at the wealth of Tiny Tom's sales
knowledge than the meal's trimmings. In fact, on the spot,
he offered Tiny Tom a consulting position with his firm
(and was to retain several other new staff with
backgrounds in sales and consumer psychology).
During
the days that followed, E. Marketer gnomed away in his
office, leaving his staff to muse at the explosions of
chuckles that would emerge from behind his closed door and
wonder if they should start looking for new jobs. But the
chuckles only reflected his growing enthusiasm for a whole
new way of looking at online sales. Soon, they became very
familiar with previously unknown considerations such as AIDAS,
the 5-step
expert selling process, conversion
and retention ratios, trust and privacy,
customer service, loyalty, and the now-famous term E.
Marketer coined: EON (Ease of Navigation).
People
still marvel at the complete change that came over E.
Marketer and his e-commerce philosophies. It wasn't just
that he became far less pompous in his dealings with
folks; the new leaf he turned over that day wound up
making both his own business and the businesses of his
clients more profitable than any had imagined. Old E.
Marketer was showered with praise and became a model for
all thriving e-enterprises. True success and satisfaction
were his at last.
Everyone
knows E. Marketer wound up subscribing to Grokdotcom. What
they do not know is this: every time a new issue appeared
on his computer screen, the small green character in the
upper left-hand corner gave him a salutary wink!
THE
END
Special
Announcement Following the Show
If
you'd like more information about the many issues E.
Marketer and many others have had to grapple with, be sure
to visit the Grokdotcom Archives (click
here) .
Have
a Happy New Year!
Tickled
Pink!
Me?
Pink? You can breathe a deep sigh of relief. I’m still
the same stunningly attractive green you see twice a
month. What I really am is totally juiced about a trio of
newsletters that has received iBizNewletters.com's Best
of 2000 awards. iBiz is in the business of helping you
distinguish the "jewels from the junk" when it
comes to all those Internet newsletters out there, so you
can get the best of the information you need. To be picked
as the "best of the best" from the many
newsletters iBiz reviewed
this year
is indeed an honor.
And
since I'm in the biz of bringing you profound gems of
wisdom, I'd like to introduce you to the Best of 2000
winners. Go on, point your cursor at these great efforts
and sign up. Get a new infusion of cream-of-the-crop
information that will help you in your online efforts.
I'd
like you to meet the winner for the Marketer and
Advertiser Category, a sound, humorous, content-rich
newsletter focusing on customer management issues:
Ezine:
On
the Front Line
Web site: <http://www.crmguru.com/>
Sign up: On the front page.
Comment from the award announcement: I've chosen On the
Front Line
because of the quality of the writing. It's the best
written of
all the newsletters I've looked at this year (several
hundred in total).
Url of full announcement: <http://www.ibiznewsletters.com/marketer27DEC00.htm>
For the
Website Management and Design Category, I'd like to
introduce you to a blend of fun and superior information,
"packed with web site tips and tricks, freebies,
resources, rants, quotes, inspiration and more"
relating to design and authoring (Boogie Jack, are you
sure you aren't really a Martian?):
Ezine:
Almost
a Newsletter
Web site: <http://www.boogiejack.com>
Sign up: On the front page.
Comment from the award announcement: I chose it because
it's the best example of a publication that is both
entertaining and informative. What makes him (Boogie
Jack) really stand out from the rest is that he has the
readers' interests firmly welded to his heart.
Url of full announcement: <http://www.ibiznewsletters.com/management27DEC00.htm>
iBiz
also selected a newsletter for Runner-Up and Honorable
Mention in these categories. I offer my super
congratulations as well to: ClickZ and eMarketer
Weekly Newsletter (Marketer and Advertiser Category);
and The Dirtsmart Netpreneur Ezine and Internet
Content (Management and Design Category). You can
locate these newsletters by following the link to each
category's full announcement above.
"Hey,
hang on, Grok," you interject. "Didn't you say
'trio'?"
(I'm
blushing.) That's true. However I don't need to point you,
loyal reader, to the third e-zine, because you’re
pointed at it already! The award for the best newsletter
in the category Web Promotion and Revenue Building
went to the
humble efforts
(didn't your Mom ever tell you it wasn't polite to laugh
like that?!) of … yours truly. <http://www.ibiznewsletters.com/promotion27DEC00.htm>.
And how could I dispute what iBiz had to say? Well …
there is one thing they said: "Sometimes plain
weird"???? Hey, I resemble that remark!
But I'm
in great company here, too. Link Exchange Digest
gets the silver and AffiliateHelp.com Monthly
Newsletter snags the bronze. The promotion link above
will direct you to them, as it did with the others.
So,
dudes and dudettes, prepare for action. Time to prove all
those e-commerce financial analyst Nay Sayers wrong. And
now you've got the best tools available to help. The real
millennium is finally upon us, and you’re gonna have a
great year!
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